Kill Me
by Apollaskywalker
Summary: Edward finds out about Bella jumping and his trip to the Volturi. Rated 'T' for swear words.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and New Moon, not me! I own no characters, places, or anything! I'm just doing this for fun. I am not making any money off this. So don't sue, just enjoy.

If you like it review!

Kill Me

Edward Cullen lay on the couch in his rented apartment in South America. He flipped through his notebook which he had used to keep track of where and what he found out about Victoria. So far, he couldn't find her. His cell phone went off and he grabbed it. It was Rosalie, "Hey, Rose," he said.

"Edward, I just heard this from Alice and I thought you ought to know." Edward heard the laughter in Rosalie's mind.

"What?" he asked, wishing she would stop mind shielding it.

"Bella jumped off a cliff."

Edward froze, momentarily glued to his seat. "What?" his voice shook. He couldn't believe it. No, he wouldn't…

"Is she…alive?"

"No," Rosalie said. Edward let loose a roar of pain. He saw Rosalie cringing and he hung up the phone. Forget Victoria, he had a serious problem. He grabbed a suitcase with his clothes and hurried out to his car. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the Swan's number in Forks. He heard a male voice answer the phone and he went on alert.

"Swan residence," that was _not_ Charlie!

"This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen; I'm trying to reach Chief Swan." Edward was nearly panicking.

"He's not here," the voice was angry, almost evil.

"Where_ is_ he?" Edward's voice rose an octave and he snarled it.

"He's at the funeral," the voice was hesitant. Edward didn't say good bye he just hung up. He dialed for the airport and it answered in Spanish. Edward spoke clearly and slowly so as not to concern anyone as he drove on his way towards the airport. "I need a plane that's on its way to Italy, today and as soon as possible."

"There's one leaving at in an hour, but you'll have to ride in first class."

"Money's no object, take it out of this account," Edward read off his PIN number from a credit card, passing a car. He hung up as soon as he knew that he had a ticket and how to get it. Arriving at the airport he got out of the car and left his luggage. Who cared if he didn't have anything to carry on but his keys (which were in his pocket out of habit), his wallet, and a cell phone?

He boarded the plane when it arrived and sat down in his seat. He was more than aware of the looks he was getting from the females on the plane. One girl was staring at him and he heard her thoughts. _Oh my gawd! I get to sit next to him!! He looks so angry…I wonder what's wrong. Maybe I can get his number and arrange to meet him again. My gawd, he is so hott! _Edward wished he could sleep, wished he could ignore her, he wished he was dead.

But the biggest wish was…he wanted Bella. He closed his eyes, squeezing them shut, hoping the pain in his eyelids would cover the pain in his heart. "Hey," he heard the girl's voice. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," but it came out ragged, too raw. Well, what was he supposed to do? Go 'Yes' in a perky tone and smile like a phony? Bella was dead!

"You look upset," oh, clever human! "I'm Rachel, who are you?"

"Edward," he said slowly. It seemed to satisfy her…a bit. _Edward, that is so refined! So old fashioned, but who cares? It totatlly redefines the word the way he looks! He's obviously NOT ok, but if he won't say why, I'll wait to press him. _Edward laid his head against the window. In a few hours he would go before the Volturi. He just hoped that hell would be tolerable without Bella, an eternity alive was worse than an eternity dead. Slowly he swallowed, though he didn't need to. He closed his eyes and slowly began to pray. _"God, I know I probably don't have a soul…but will you forgive me for everything and just let me be at Bella's side? I can't live without her and I can't be dead without her. Just please forgive me…and please let me be in Heaven with her…amen." _He had no idea if it would work but he hoped so.

Rachel watched him slowly and Edward wished she would look away. "Would you like something?" the flight attendant had arrived. Damn humans.

"A Coke, please," Rachel ordered.

"And you, sir?"

"Nothing, thank you." His voice was rough. Rachel whispered conspiritorally with the attendant. "He's had a bad time, I think, maybe if you brought him a Diet Coke?"

The attendant nodded and Edward's fist tightened. A long annoying flight. The two Cokes were brought and Rachel drank hers. It was finished as they crossed the ocean. Edward glanced at him watch, only a few more hours. He began to dwell on first meeting Bella Swan but Rachel interrupted him.

"Where are you going in Italy? I'm headed to Rome for study."

"Volterra," he answered.

"Where's that?" Rachel couldn't shut up.

"Italy."

She smiled, "You're a joker aren't you?"

He turned to her, a glare in his eyes. "I don't like to talk."

"Oh, sorry," her mind said she _wasn't_ sorry at all. "I love to talk, but I suppose all girls do. What are you going to be doing in Volterra?"

"Dying," he snapped. Maybe that would shut her up.

"Oh my gawd," she gasped, "what's wrong?"

Wrong thing to say! Edward thought to himself.

"I'm so sorry! Is this…like, a last wish?"

"Please…" he held up one hand, "I've had a terrible day. I really just want silence."

Rachel's mouth closed. Eventually she drifted off to sleep and Edward laid his head in his hands. The attendant approached, unable to stay away for so long. "Would you like a pillow and a blanket?"

"No, thank you." He sighed and pulled out his wallet. Opening the wallet he pulled out his pictures. One was of his family. He flipped to the next one, Emmett's senior picture. It was Rosalie's senior picture of her and Emmett. He growled softly with anger and flipped to the next one. Alice with Jasper, her head against his shoulder. It pained him to see more people in love. He quickly switched pictures. Esme with Carlisle, they were seated on the couch, Carlisle's arm wrapped around Esme's shoulders, a look of rapture on Esme's face. The final picture was the one that brought soothing relief to his torn chest and pain.

Bella's face was tinted pink along her cheekbones. The dress she wore was blue and low cut but her chest was covered with a light blue corset. Her hair was gathered back, ringlets falling to her shoulders. One arm was around his waist, the other in his hand. He allowed himself a brief glance at himself.

He wished he could have been able to tell his past self what was going to happen if he left. Instead the innocent 104 year old vampire was grinning with pure happiness, the idiot. His black tuxedo struck him as ironic, a pale vampire in black, so typical. His shoes were polished and as shiny as the Aston Martin he had used to drive her to Prom. Esme had taken the picture, happy that her youngest son had found a love.

His chest tightened as he thought of that Prom night. Bella had absolutely hated the idea of the dance. She kept insisting she could dance, not that he was going to let her. He fully intended on being the one who allowed her to move. Even that he hadn't been able to protect her from himself, or lack of, for that matter.

"Bella," he whispered, "why did you do it?"

Rachel stirred and Edward didn't pay attention. "Why did you kill yourself?" he was quiet, but Rachel heard him.

"Who killed themselves?" asked Rachel. Edward looked at her, his neck turning at breakneck speed.

Edward stared at her, his voice refusing to work, his mind not wanting to tell her, but knowing she wouldn't take no for an answer. She rested her hand against his jacket, he pulled his arm away. He didn't want her to touch him; he didn't want _anyone's_ touch except Bella's. To his amazement, she dropped the question as she caught sight of the prom picture.

"Oh, wow," she whispered. "You look even more stunning in that picture than you do in real life!" She looked at Bella, a frown forming on her face. "But why did you go with her? She's so plain compared to you. She-"

Edward stood, placed his wallet back in his back pocket, and strode into the aisle. His walk was a stride and he locked himself in the bathroom. He glanced at his watch, they would be arriving in Italy in twenty minutes. He sank to his knees and laid his head against the counter of the sink. Shuddering he let out his dry sobs. He didn't have the ability to cry real tears, but the sobs still wracked him. He heard a gentle tap at the door.

It was the blasted flight attendant.

"Sir? Are you all right?" He gave no answer, holding his side in a desperate attempt to stifle the pain from his non-beating heart. "Do you require assistance?"

"Go away," he raised his voice so she could hear him. "Why can't you all just leave me alone?"

There was silence, but then the sound of footsteps told him she had left. He didn't move from his position, still and another memory hit him. 'Don't move' and he hadn't, Bella's hand had trailed over his face. He glanced at his watch, eighteen minutes. There was another knock at his door. Edward raised his topaz eyes to the door, if he'd been a human they would have been bloodshot.

"Mr. Cullen," obviously they had found out his name from the boarding pass. It was a male, but he didn't think it was the chief flight attendant. It wasn't, "This is the captain, we'll be landing in a short while. Would you please go back to your seat? Or acknowledge that something is wrong?"

Edward's voice was bitter, "What good would saying something was wrong do?"

"Do you require a doctor?" Clearly they thought he was ill.

"No. There's nothing you can do. Please, just leave me alone."

They left and Edward waited until there was only ten minutes left until landing and he exited.

The plane landed and he walked away from the airport. Edward got into the nearest, fastest car and drove off towards Volterra. It was a short drive for how quickly Edward drove. After parking and getting admittance into the castle/fortress he found Aro, Caius, Marcus, and the rest of the coven looked up at him. "Who are you?"

"I'm Edward Cullen," Edward introduced himself. Aro stood to introduce himself but Edward cut him off. "I know who you are."

Aro nodded, "Are you related to Carlisle Cullen?"

"I'm his…son." Edward said, pausing, wondering if they would understand. Aro nodded, his scarlet eyes widening.

"Well, Edward, if I may call you Edward?" Edward nodded. "What brings you Volterra?"

"I have a request."

Caius looked up, curious. Aro continued, "Ask away, we'd be delighted to assist you in whatever way possible?"

"Kill me."

There was a huge silence that went around the room. "Well, now, Edward," Aro said, recovering first. "That is a rather…unusual request…why do you wish to die? Perhaps you would let me see into your mind?"

Edward raised his eyebrows, "My mind is not guarded, you may enter yourself."

Aro raised his hand, extending it towards Edward. "Touch my hand then, Edward."

Edward did as requested and realized that Aro needed physical contact. He thought that was rather odd, but said nothing as Aro went through his thoughts. Pulling away, the lead Vampire looked at him. "Interesting," he said slowly. "You want to die for her? A human? Who's blood you crave but cannot taste? _La tua cantante_!"

Edward frowned and Marcus explained the meaning. Aro waved his hand away, "Yes, yes, yes, I call her that because her blood sings for you." He smiled, "But, Edward, surely you realize I cannot grant you your request. The child is dead, you have brought no harm to my coven or our world-"

Edward sank to his knees on the stone cold floor. "Kill me," he begged.

"Edward, you would make such a welcome addition to our coven, join us if you will, but we won't kill you unless you-"

"I'll expose you if you do not kill me." Edward's topaz eyes pleaded with the group of Volturi. "Kill me."


	2. Decision

Author's Note: This was_ not_ intended to be longer than a one shot. Seriously. I had hoped it would get everyone to go back and read the best part of New Moon (in my opinion, that is) the reunion of Bella and Edward. If someone asks for another update, I probably will. It's not planned, so don't get your hopes up unless you ask for it in a review. There is a quote from Bella's point of view in New Moon in here, see if you can spot it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon. No characters, places, etc. are mine. I am not making any money off this, this is for fun. Enjoy if you will.

**Council Decision**

Aro stood from his chair and looked at the expression on Edward's face. His first thought was to say "No" and leave it at that, but this had to be done diplomatically. When he'd touched Edward's hand…the boy's potential had flooded him with possibilities. They could use his talent so much. It would be better than having to touch a hand, despite the lack of what was heard. "I will discuss this," he nodded at Caius and Marcus and every Vampire left the room. "Wait here, Edward," Aro said as Edward stood to leave as well.

He nodded. Alec blinked at him but then turned sharply on his heel and walked out. Edward took a seat on the floor, where he'd knelt previously. He passed a hand through his hair, realizing that he hadn't run a comb through it and it was messed up from his frantic journey. Now, his rushing seemed a bit superfluous. They were just going to talk it out.

There was a good chance that they'd give him what he wanted, but still…a very good chance they'd say no. He wouldn't beg any more. He couldn't afford it, and it was so easy to turn down a begging Vampire when you are one yourself. What can they do to you when you are more powerful than they? No, the Volturi would not be persuaded by mere begging. He would have to force their hand if he hoped to succeed.

Hell, he was _going _to succeed. There was no point in staying without Bella! Life, love, meaning…over. All of it. He suddenly remembered his cell phone. Probably one of his family had tried to contact him. He realized that leaving the phone in Rio was probably not the best idea. He'd thrown it away just before boarding the plane. He'd forgotten about that, it had seemed so insignificant compared to his journey. Now he wished he had it. Alice, at least, probably had tried to call him. Once she realized that he was never going to answer, she would go insane. She'd tell everyone who she thought would make a difference.

He would have to die, or whatever Vampires did when they weren't the animated dead, before they arrived. They would do whatever they could to stop him and that would just cause the pain to be deeper. Ever since he'd left Bella it felt as if every swallow, every drink, every breath-even every blink!-was a razor blade in his heart. His heart, that hadn't had a single beat in over a century, felt palpitations whenever Bella had been near him, would never feel right again. Though, the feeling was probably his imagination. Over a hundred years of being alive made one's imagination run wild. He felt guilty about being the indirect cause of Bella's death.

His eyes closed as he imagined Bella with his family just before prom. Once again, his hand slid to his wallet. He'd kept it because he hadn't known who he would've had to bribe to get past the Volterra security. He slid the picture of Bella and him out and studied it. His family had had a great time getting Bella ready for prom. Jasper had helped blow dry her hair, the only chance he'd felt safest to be around her without his thirst getting the better of him. Unlike the birthday party…

His remorse filled him. His own brother! And he himself had shoved her into a pile of glass plates! What kind of man was he?

_A monster._

He squeezed his eyes shut. _I don't want to be a monster. I don't want to be a monster! I NEVER WANTED TO BE A MONSTER!_

Edward stood, a roar ripping from his chest. He never would've imagined pain like this. The pain he'd felt when Carlisle had bitten him was nothing compared to this!

Carlisle…

Carlisle would never let him go without a fight. Neither would Emmett, who lived for rough housing. Jasper would sooner give up food than let Edward go without a fight. Rosalie would feel horrible instead of laughing over Bella's demise. Alice…

What would Alice do? What would Esme do?

He would disappoint his family, but he could die with that.

---

"We can't keep him, Aro, he's not a pet!" Jane snapped. "I say we kill him."

"He could be a great use to us." Aro said, "He hears when I cannot. He knows things. He could be such a great help to us."

"If we do not aid him in his quest, what makes you think he will assist ours?" Marcus questioned. Aro sighed. Sometimes, they truly could not see potential.

Heidi looked questioningly at her coven. "Jane, I've never heard you say you'd give a man what he wanted before." Jane glared at her but Heidi continued. "We've gone too long without food, let us begin the hunt and decide after when we aren't driven by hunger."

"I say," Demetri agreed, "we hunt, but we also tell him no. Perhaps he too is hungry and not thinking straight."

Aro felt like rolling his eyes even though he was above such childish things. "He is not crazy, in fact, his eyes aren't black. He's thinking as straight as someone can. He truly wants to die."

Heidi stood, "If we kill him, which I highly do _not _recommend, it will take too long! We won't have adequate hunting time. What, are we going to kill him and drink his blood?! That will _not_ sustain our needs. Keep him prisoner if you must, but allow us to drink first."

Aro raised a pale finger and placed it against his cold lips. "Hush, Heidi, you will disturb our guest. No doubt he is already feeling anguish. Hunt if you will, but do not alert attention. The festival begins in a short while. Go and find food now, Heidi, but tell me, what will you wish me to tell him?"

"No, of course," Heidi pushed her chair away and strode from the room.

"Well now, Jane, what is it you were going to say?" Aro asked.

Jane sighed, "I say we kill him. Then when Heidi returns from hunting, we eat."

"Demetri?"

"Not to kill him." Jane glared at him. "Don't give me that look, Jane, you know as well as I that Carlisle won't let us live this down. His coven will attack."

"They haven't yet," Jane snarled.

"But that doesn't mean they won't," agreed Aro suddenly. "I saw his family in his mind. Emmett and Jasper, his 'brothers', will attack. There's no way that they would let him go if they get here in time." Everyone looked at him. Jane waved her hand as if pushing that fact away.

"Then let them not get here in time, kill him now." Jane snarled. "My vote is the same, kill him."

Aro turned to the rest of the group and they voted.

---

Edward glanced at the door, and a low growl escaped his clenched jaw. They had decided 'no'. Aro opened the door and the rest of the coven walked in.

"Before you say it, let me tell you I will force your hand!" Edward roared.

Aro didn't even flinch, instead he smiled. "Oh, Edward, perhaps you will understand one day why we chose this. But we can't kill you. Our answer is no."


	3. Till Death Do Us Part

Author Note: This is the end of my fan fiction.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon. Nothing is mine! I don't own _Iris_ by the Goo Goo Dolls, either.

**Till Death Do Us Part**

Edward sat in the chapel of the Volterra church, watching a wedding. Who cared that he wasn't invited? He certainly didn't and if they had a problem with it, well, they'd have to throw him out! The couple were exchanging vows and Edward winced. "Till death do us part," they said. Edward thought for a moment. He murmered the words to himself and looked up at the couple. In his mind he saw Bella in a beautiful white dress, looking even more exquisite than she had at prom. He saw himself saying the words to her and sliding the ring on her finger.

It was not to be. And even if he had married her, there would have been no 'till death do us part' for there would be no death. Now it would be 'till death do us reunite.' The couple had finished and they were now walking down the aisle. Like the rest, Edward stood and watched them walk out the door before adjourning to the reception hall.

He had thought that this place would be perfect to expose the Vampires. A wedding. It had even fit his criteria and pain.

"_And I'd give up forever to touch you_," the DJ had started up _Iris_ by the Goo Goo Dolls and Edward stopped from moving onto his victim. "_And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am_." He listened, his mouth twisting into a grimace. His stomach muscles contracted and he felt an arm upon his.

"Are you all right?"

Edward pulled away and with a pace almost too fast for a human, ran from the room. Once outside of the chapel, Edward hunched over, his arms holding his stomach as he sobbed without any tears. He would give up forever just to touch Bella again. The world wouldn't understand. Could they have picked a better song to fit his feelings at that time?

Edward closed his eyes and threw his head back into the downpour of rain that he hadn't even noticed. Water fell into his open eyes, but it was a sorry excuse for tears. Those, try as he might, he could not conjure. Edward heard the sound of the car horn and he turn, pivoting on his right foot to face the car. Silently he dared the car to strike him. He wished it would.

_Edward._

He shut his eyes. Not Alice. He couldn't listen to her. But her voice washed over his mind and seeped into his ears. _Edward, please, listen to me. I saw the wrong thing. Bella's alive, one of her friends pulled her out! Edward, don't do anything stupid! Bella's here and alive!_

_Liar_, he thought contemptuously. He had now way of knowing that she was telling the truth and he knew she might be thinking it just to keep him alive. He couldn't hear Bella's thoughts. He never could. The silence was almost normal now, but it pained him.

_Edward, listen to me. I'm coming to get you! Don't do anything rash! Please! We love you._

To heck with them! They didn't understand. Alice had Jasper, Rosalie had Emmett, Esme had Carlisle. And he? He had just a stomach full of razor blades that had started sawing at him ever since he had left Bella's side.

He wasn't going to stay there anymore. He was going to where he belonged. Even in death. "Oh, Bella, Isabella," he breathed. "Why?" the question came out of his mouth before he could stop it. "I'm coming, sweetheart. I'm coming. Be patient." He could feel and hear a Vampire behind him.

"Edward," he didn't turn. It was Jane. "Don't do anything irrational."

"Kill me." He said.

Jane laughed. Then she left. Edward rolled his eyes and sat down, away from the street. He could kill someone, but that would disappoint Carlisle and he wouldn't do it. He could throw a car into a wall, but more than likely there would just be a huge court case and insurance bills because the owner wouldn't care as long as he got a replacement in the same model and condition as before.

Step into the sun…blind everyone…that would work. That would be what he would do.

There was a huge festival going on soon. He would do it then. It was in one day. He'd already wasted several trying to get to Italy and then waiting for the Volturi's decision. He could afford no more delays. Tomorrow he would emerge into the sun. Into death.

Edward hurried to the city's square, by the bell tower. He found the right alley and nodded. Here he would lose his clothes to be the brightest thing aside from the sun. He made all the plans and sat down in the alley.

"Sir?"

He looked up, another pesky human. Where did they come from?! At least this one was afraid of him. He could hear her. "You have to leave," she said, while her mind dittoed the statement for herself. "This place doesn't open until tomorrow." She was speaking Italian, but Edward understood.

He responded in kind, "I'll stay here, thank you very much."

He didn't even dazzle her like Bella had always accused him of doing. He had no energy, he wasn't in the mood for it. She blinked, "No one is allowed here right now, sir."

Edward looked at her. Then he opened his wallet and pulled out some cash. He offered it to her and she looked even more confused. She was thinking that he could easily get a hotel room for the price he was trying to bribe her with. "Sir, I won't take it, you have to leave. Now."

Edward finally gave up and began to walk away. He walked into the closest hotel and pulled out his credit card to pay for the room. As soon as he was up in the room he grabbed the pen and paper.

In his beautiful script he penned a long letter explaining why he had done what he did, told them he loved them, and wrote out his will. He was half tempted to tell off Rosalie for laughing at Bella's death. However he didn't. He was still the gentleman. He couldn't change who he was any more than he could bring Bella back from the dead.

He folded the paper into thirds and took the hotel's envelope. He deftly sealed the envelope after the letter was inside and addressed it.

Edward grabbed his key and marched down to the mail box. He slid the letter in it and walked back to his room to wait out the coming day.

"Till death do us part," Edward quoted. "Till death do us reunite. I'll be there soon, Bella."

---

Edward watched as a plane landed. No doubt it had come from the States; he knew there was a plane arriving from there at that time. He'd checked the flight arrival on their website to see when the possible threat of his family would arrive. He stood and tied on his shoes.

After turning in the key he walked into the festival. A small car, a yellow Porsche was trying to get by security as he hurried through the alley. He could see it, a nice car. For some reason it made him think of Alice and Bella. Alice because she would love that car. Bella because it was a type of car he'd never be able to get for her. She hated him spending money on her. He didn't understand it.

Standing near the clock tower at 11:57, three minutes to noon, he could see Felix. He smiled a sneering smile. He bent down and removed his shoes and then pulled off his shirt.

11:28, Edward heard a cry of "-Ward!" He ignored it.

11:29, Edward watched the clock tower, again the cry echoed.

12:00 noon, the tower bell roared with finality. He lifted his foot to step. Before he'd even completed his step, Bella collided with him. Edward stopped and looked at her, his heart healing instantly. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly against his bare chest. "Amazing," he whispered in awe and happiness, "Carlisle was right."

Funny words when he wanted to kiss her and promise that he'd never leave again.

"Edward," she was pushing against his chest but it made no difference. He just wanted to stay there with her for a few moments. "You've got to get back into the shadows. You have to move!"

Why? He smiled, amused. He stroked her cheek with his hand. Again the clock struck with the finality that was perfect to the situation.

"I can't believe how quick it was. I didn't fell a thing-they're very good." He had thought it would've been painful for that was what he thought he deserved. "_Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty_." He, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, was hers, hell or heaven didn't matter. He was hers…for eternity.


End file.
